This is a crazy rant. One filled with way more information than even The Husband or My Mom would want to know. One that comes from peeing on sticks each month that only remind you, you suck at getting pregnant.
You see, I tested this week with a blue dye pregnancy test, the one with the lines that form a plus sign. I have this problem where every month, whether I think I'm actually pregnant or not, I take a pregnancy test. And not just one. Oh no. I like to test early and often.
Both times I was pregnant, I just knew. I didn't have to question every possible symptom and twitch wondering if it could mean I was pregnant. Because as I'm fully aware, almost all early signs you might be pregnant are also signs you are probably getting your period, have food poisoning or your mind is playing a cruel joke on you.
I always use ones with two pink lines that are next to each other. I did for A.'s pregnancy and I used a pink test with my last pregnancy. They are easy to read. Even with the last pregnancy, while the line was faint right at first, it was a true and solid line that you could see that darkened within the time frame.
This time around with the blue test, even though I know they are known for evaporation lines or false positives, I was lured into them because they were on sale. Damn my thriftyness because that's exactly what happened. I got an evaporation line from a blue dye pregnancy test 9 days past ovulation.
The difference between a faint positive and an evaporation line? Easy, I could only see the second blue line in the test window (the vertical line) if I held it up to my eyes and tilted it just so in the sun light. Also the line was not solid and showed only in parts. The pink test I could see the line no matter how I held the stick and in any kind of light. This blue dye pregnancy test wasn't a positive. It was a lie.
I was beyond annoyed and angry. I was annoyed I tested early. I was annoyed my already crappy day at work was being concluded with a late in the day pregnancy test. So to prove what I knew was a lie, I took another one the next morning first thing and sure as shit, no line.
This isn't the same as with my chemical pregnancy. Where I tested positive at home, then my positives started fading and a blood test showed my levels were too low followed by a solid week of crazy intense bright red bleeding that seemed like it was never going to stop. Nope. Not even close.
It was simply a faulty test.